Thursday, July 16, 2009

Uncle Henry's vs Craigslist: The Final Battle

Which do you prefer? Uncle Henry's or Craigslist?

First, let's establish that we're not talking about the print version of Uncle Henry's, which is a horrendous waste of time.

Let's say you're looking for, oh, I don't know, a gently used chicken coop with attached run. Sure, you could sift through 400 ads (this week's edition alone) for various farm fowl and other bits of livestock and accessories, before you finally realize you also have to check “Farm and Garden” and “Free for the Taking.”

Eventually, you'll have to decide whether or not to venture into the “Swap/Trade” section to see if one of the 17-dozen hillbillies trying to trade his gun for an ATV just came down with a case of West Athens Boredom and used up all his ammo on the chickens.

Good luck plowing through the ads that list 16 unrelated things -- “willing to barter my airbrush skills for web design, motorcycle, boat, ATV, camper, pot of corn chowder, three-legged German Shepherd, 1983 Datsun pickup, reusable hemp diapers...” -- hoping you see “chicken wire” somewhere in there.

I can't figure out why the print version still exists.

Now then, which is better,, or Uncle Henry'

The advantage of Craigslist, of course, is that it is entirely free. Uncle Henry's requires you to buy “credits” to post ads, and if you don't have a “subscription,” it won't let you see all the ads in your search.

On the other hand, Uncle Henry's lets you narrow your search to within a certain distance of your home. It can filter out the ad from Madawaska if you're not willing to drive three hours for that airbrush appointment.

Many people also enjoy occasionally finding those odd or offbeat ads in Uncle Henry's, particularly in “Free for the Taking.”

But Uncle Henry's still can't hold a candle to the “best-of-craigslist” page, where the true breadth and depth of human weirdness and depravity unleashes itself every day.

Here is a small sample, slightly edited:

- “Wanted: Taxidermist who Watches a Lot of Kung Fu. I am looking to hire someone with the means to obtain and stuff animals in fashions I choose, which will be Kung Fu for now.... I understand this is a bizarre request. Serious inquiries only, please...”

- “Girlfriend said she is tired of my Mustang parts and I need to make a craigslist here is it. For sale: 1 nagging dream smashing man hater. Make an offer or look in the free section if she keeps it up and gets kicked to the curb.”

This one, however, takes the cake:

- “I will pay you $1 to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit. I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this. I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure. I will require at least a 5 minute stay. A neighbor will watch the front door from across the street and using a supplied stopwatch, will time your entry and departure. Please supply your own footwear. The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery. DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner.”

I think we have a winner, folks.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just came across this site/your article - yer killin' me (I love it laughin' thanks)
- from a toothless billbilly chick looking for a motorcycle on Uncle Henry's....